How many times have you heard the words, "let me do it!" We often underestimate how much our children are capable of, and we are doing them a great disservice in doing this. At every age and stage, children are able to surpass our expectations, as long as we encourage their self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is simply defined as one's confidence that he can succeed at doing that which is attempted. There are many ways that we can set our child(ren) up for success by intentionally providing opportunities for them to practice and perfect basic self-help skills, resulting in a feeling of independence. Self-care/self-help skills include cleaning and feeding oneself, dressing/undressing oneself, cleaning up after oneself, etc.
While self-help skills are different than household chores, both can provide children with a heightened sense of self-efficacy, accomplishment, and independence. Below is a chart of age-approriate chores. The more we perform simple tasks for our children, the more we discourage their self-help development and create in them a sense of dependence.
Give your child the time he needs to practice and perfect new skills, fostering this sense of independence and self-efficacy. For example, it is not a good time for your child to practice putting on and zipping her own coat when you are rushing to get out the door in the morning. Make sure you have enough time for 'practice makes perfect' so that neither you, nor your child, reaches the breaking point. Also, give your child adequate opportunities to succeed in completing new tasks, but don't push her past their frustration point. If your child is crying over tying his shoes, guide him through the process again and move on to another activity. Learning a new skill is not worth extreme frustration, which can often cause children to have unnecessary anxiety.
Lev Vygotsky was the founder of the idea of the "zone of proximal development" (ZPD). This concept refers to the way in which children (and adults, as well) create new knowledge based on previous learning, with the 'scaffolding' help of others. Scaffolding refers to the way in which a teacher/parent gives the appropriate level of support until the learner no longer requires it and is able to perform the task on her own. As we work with young children, it is essential that we learn to appropriately scaffold our children's learning until they reach levels of independence and self-efficacy.
Here are some other quality reads on self-help skills, developing self-efficacy, and working in the ZPD:
http://www.positiveparentingconnection.net/giant-list-of-self-care-skills-for-babiestoddlers-and-preschoolers/
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_challenges/motivating_kids_to_clean_up/age_appropriate_chores.aspx
http://www.sequoiachildren.org/sites/sequoiachildren.org/files/SELFHELP01PELibrary.pdf
http://www.childrensprogress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/free-white-paper-vygotsky-zone-of-proximal-development-zpd-early-childhood.pdf
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| Link to chart in website |
Give your child the time he needs to practice and perfect new skills, fostering this sense of independence and self-efficacy. For example, it is not a good time for your child to practice putting on and zipping her own coat when you are rushing to get out the door in the morning. Make sure you have enough time for 'practice makes perfect' so that neither you, nor your child, reaches the breaking point. Also, give your child adequate opportunities to succeed in completing new tasks, but don't push her past their frustration point. If your child is crying over tying his shoes, guide him through the process again and move on to another activity. Learning a new skill is not worth extreme frustration, which can often cause children to have unnecessary anxiety.
Lev Vygotsky was the founder of the idea of the "zone of proximal development" (ZPD). This concept refers to the way in which children (and adults, as well) create new knowledge based on previous learning, with the 'scaffolding' help of others. Scaffolding refers to the way in which a teacher/parent gives the appropriate level of support until the learner no longer requires it and is able to perform the task on her own. As we work with young children, it is essential that we learn to appropriately scaffold our children's learning until they reach levels of independence and self-efficacy.
Here are some other quality reads on self-help skills, developing self-efficacy, and working in the ZPD:
http://www.positiveparentingconnection.net/giant-list-of-self-care-skills-for-babiestoddlers-and-preschoolers/
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_challenges/motivating_kids_to_clean_up/age_appropriate_chores.aspx
http://www.sequoiachildren.org/sites/sequoiachildren.org/files/SELFHELP01PELibrary.pdf
http://www.childrensprogress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/free-white-paper-vygotsky-zone-of-proximal-development-zpd-early-childhood.pdf
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